I'm wrapping up (hopefully!) a couple of sick days. Sick enough to stay home, but well enough to be really, really bored. In other words, lots and lots of time to think.
One of the things that I think about is how crazy it is that I used to feel guilty for staying home sick, or trying to figure out if I was "sick enough". Because if you're not too sick, you should be at work, right? This is especially ludicrous thinking when you work in healthcare around potentially immunocompromised people, but I have done it in the past, and know plenty of people (including healthcare workers) that do this. I do not feel one bit guilty any more. Yesterday I didn't move much off the couch, and even though I didn't feel too terrible, I did feel like I was where I needed to be. Today, I've been better, but still spent most of the day resting, and the few things I did (like shower and get a couple of things at the grocery store), I could definitely tell how nice it felt to lie down for a few minutes afterwards. Why have I ever felt the need to push myself through a full day of work while feeling like that? I feel a lot more normal this evening, so I'm sure it will be back to business as usual tomorrow, even though I'm still a little stuffy.
I hate calling in to work, but I would have been useless except to spread germs, so why do we feel such a cultural need to push through that? Europeans are right to think that we're crazy for trying it.
At least this small obstacle of being a little sick and missing a couple of days of work provided a perfect opportunity to work on some of what I've learned in "The Obstacle Is the Way." Such a great book, by the way. At least it resonated with me. Some of it is accepting what we can't change, and dealing with it as it is, rather than as we wish it could be. For example, I started thinking about the things that I wanted to do rather than be sick, but I can't change getting sick. I can accept it and allow my body the recovery time that it needs, however. I can recognize that the places where it puts me behind are not going to matter in a few weeks. I was also able to use today to really work on some of my reading, catching up on a couple of podcasts and do a little writing. Tonight is also a great time to do some gentle stretching. Things that I don't always get around to in my normal busy days.
But. I really hope I'm over this little bug, whatever it is, because I'm going stir crazy!