Back in the Spring, and specifically in late May and early June, I was kind of tired. I was tired of everyone getting hard news and dealing with the grind. I was ready for the heavens to open and grace to rain down. Not merely the grace to deal with the tough stuff, but answered prayers. Most specifically, I prayed that there would be a whole rash of baby announcements from friends struggling with IF.
What do you know?
I am so excited for all of the people who have been sharing their amazing news lately. People who were not expecting it at all, whether this particular cycle or in general. Or the ones that have had some hope, and have seen that hope fulfilled. I absolutely love it. I wish there were some way to have a big party so we could have all kinds of celebration in person! Thank you all so much for sharing your joy, and I am praying for you and your little ones!
But, my prayers are not done. Prayers of thanksgiving, absolutely. Also, God and I have been having a little chat and I have been reminding Him, that, no, it's not enough yet. My heart is bursting for joy for those of you sharing your amazing news (and with joy that there are so many announcements!), but it is also breaking for those of you that are still dealing with the weariness and ups and downs of NOT having anything to announce, of dealing with treatments or letting go of treatments, the process and questions and paperwork and expense of adoption. All of it. I am praying for you, too. That in this moment, you will be able to get through the pain and weariness of your own situation, the exhaustion of being happy for others' announcements while your heart is in pieces. The paradox of the joy and the pain is a hard place to be. I also wish I could be in person with you tonight. Just to sit and be if you want, give you a hug, whatever you need right now.
I feel like Lot, asking God for something, and when He says, "Okay", I'm all, "Sweet! Now how about some more?" Good thing He loves me and knows that I'm not done asking yet. Or ever. Not as long as there are those that need it.