Wednesday, December 11, 2013


Okay, here is post 1 of 2 in my Advent miniseries.  Kat said I could call it a miniseries, so I will and I am.

Guys, I am a chump.  No, really, I am the very definition of chumpishness.  I am "chump" personified. Don't believe me?  Here is the definition:

noun (informal)
A foolish person.
           -an easily deceived person; a sucker

Yup.  Here's the thing.  I started (and finished!) this whole post about peace.  Because, you know, I have it all figured out. Okay, I never claimed to have it all figured out, but I thought there was some good stuff to share.  I am not going to say there was nothing good in the post, but it all seemed very dry and silly after I watched a couple of videos tonight.  So instead of trying to explain it all in the context of my own little issues, I'm going to share those videos instead.  Seriously, make time for them.  Abigail Smith was a beautiful woman who died of terminal cancer last week, and these two videos share something of her heart in that last year or so of her life.  I can talk about peace, or you could just take a soak in it, from her heart to yours.

I know not everyone will be able to watch them, so let me just say this.  Peace is resting in God in this moment. I wanted peace from God about being single for the rest of my life, if that's what He was asking, but He's not asking me to live all of my single future right now.  Just this moment.  I spent a lot of time with being overwhelmed about how awful it would be to be single forever, but I don't have to be single forever, just right now.  And not only can I handle being single today, there are actually some beautiful things about it.   I am coming to realize that tomorrow there will be more graces to handle being single (and more beautiful things about being single), or it will be the day that I meet someone. Also, there will be hard things about being single, but if all I have to think about or deal with is today's hard things, it's not nearly as bad as if I project what those hard moments will look like compounded by the next 50 years or so.  Just today.  Peace is meeting God today in this moment right where you are, not studying the past or the future, so much as Him.

Furthermore, I am not and will never live these moments perfectly.  I will get mad, I will fail to love to those in my life to the best of my ability, I will get annoyed and be annoying, I will roll my eyes, I will dwell in the past and moan about my predictions of the future. These moments will happen and do happen regularly.  The important part is to realize when you are doing them, and then let it go and turn back to Him.  Waiting well, having peace, surrendering to God, have nothing to do with being perfect and everything to do with being faithful.  (Who recognizes a Mother Theresa reference?)

Finally, whatever suffering is in your life, whatever evil is in your life, whatever sin is in your life, that ugliness itself is not God's plan, but He is there in the midst of it, He has suffered so that our suffering may have meaning and lead to life, and He has a plan to bring amazing grace and beauty out of the very depths of the pain.

Okay, time to either stop or descend back to being the chump again.

Terminal Cancer Wasn't In My Plans from Andrew PC Smith // SMITH PIXELS on Vimeo.

Amazing Abby - A Legacy of Hope from Andrew PC Smith // SMITH PIXELS on Vimeo.


  1. Lovely reflection. Peace is resting in God just today. I love that. It's so hard to remember! My mother-in-law has a magnet on her fridge that says, "I try to take each day one at a time, but they keep ganging up on me!" =)

    And I don't think you're a chump! =)

  2. Each night, as I lay down to sleep, I pray for peace and healing in sleep; until now, I don't think I had realized how much it has helped. I used to have a terrible time sleeping, with thoughts and worries going round and round in my head. I may need to a short morning prayer before I rise, for peace as I face the day

  3. Hmmm, finding peace in this moment - I definitely struggle with that, and get easily overwhelmed by thinking about all that could be, for better or worse. Thank-you for this reminder.

    Oh, and you are not a chump :)

  4. First- love your new cover photo- beautiful!!!
    Thank you for posting these two videos- they are incredible. What amazing courage and hope that she shared.