Whoa! What's this? Two posts in a mere week? Craziness, I tell you. I'm pretty excited this morning because I have an unexpectedly late start at work. It's not great on the bottom line when that happens, but sometimes it's really nice to have a few extra hours in the morning, especially since that's my best time of day. That's when things like blog posts spontaneously occur.
One of the things that I have been figuring out about surrender and interior freedom and all of that is that sometimes it's just the little things. One of the things that I have struggled with a lot as a single person is this desire to give myself up for a husband and children. To put their needs first. (And, granted, the reality of that would probably look a lot like someone trying and then falling on their face a whole lotta times- and sometimes not even trying that hard-, but sometimes a girl's gotta dream, right?) So one of the frustrating things about being single is that there's a whole lot of life that's just about what you want to do. Now, of course, it's this great opportunity to volunteer and so forth, and be this small part in other peoples' lives, but it just doesn't seem like much to offer sometimes.
I guess sometimes that's what God asks, though. Sometimes it's the little things that He wants. Why should I get mad about not being able to live for God in one way because it's not "big enough" in my eyes? Why not just focus on the little part that I could be doing now?
There is this older woman who serves as a crossing guard at the school down my street. I've driven by there a few times when school is mostly in session, but she's still standing there for a few stragglers. When she is not helping anyone, every car that drives by gets a big, enthusiastic wave. It makes my day every time.
I have had a hard time feeling like I fit in at any of the churches I have been to (and am still struggling with it), but at my current church, there is this one deacon that had a big welcoming smile and made a point to say hi every time I walked into church. That meant a lot and still means a lot.
I know. The idea of doing little things with great love has been around a long time, and there is a reason that we all love St. Therese. But I'm a little slow and I think that there was a part of me that really just felt like that's what I should be doing for a husband and children, so what am I supposed to do as a single person? Turns out, maybe I should be looking for moments to wave and smile at a stranger.