Saturday I went hiking with a friend of mine. She's an awesome person, but like many of my friends here, she doesn't really know me. What she knows about me is real, but what she doesn't know about me is more real and more important and I can't explain it to her. I can tell her, but that doesn't mean much.
So here's what happened.
We were talking about some of the romantic ups and downs of a mutual friend, and then she decided to ask about MY love life (here's a hint: there isn't one right now). "Well, what about So and So?" I tried to explain that while So and So has many attractive qualities, I can't really pursue anything beyond the friend plane because we are not in the same place faith-wise.
Which led to a nice LONG lecture about how you're not likely to ever find someone with exactly the same beliefs as you, and you don't really know where other people are in their faith anyway, because some people aren't that comfortable talking about it, and so on and so forth.
I tried to explain that I'm not trying to be too picky, but there needs to be a certain amount of common ground. In explanation, I said something like "It wouldn't make much sense at this time in my life to find someone that had no interest in any kind of outdoor activities." Planning to continue on and explain that, in the same way, I need someone that has a shared understanding of my faith.
Only, my friend likes to talk and didn't let me finish. She says, "Well, of course not."
Riiiight. You immediately get that we have to have common interest on "big" matters like outdoor interests, but give me long lectures about how I need to be more open to different ideas and thoughts on matters of faith and values.
And then yesterday I got to skype with a friend who does understand exactly what I believe and why (because it turns out that there a lot of people who do actually share the same thoughts and values). I can't even put it into words the difference in connection with the friend that gets me and the one that doesn't really get me.
In summary, I don't really know the point of this post, other than to say that trying to forge a romantic relationship with someone like So and So would be like my relationship with Friend 1, in that there's only so much of yourself that you can share because you can tell them all about your faith, but when they're not in the same place, they just don't really get it. And if I can't find someone that gets the faith aspect the way Friend 1 gets the outdoor aspect and Friend 2 gets all of it, then I guess I'll be single forever. And that's not a bad thing!
Also important point of this post, I really miss Friend 2 and all my other friends like her... The ones that we live way too far away from each other, but getting together with them is like we've never been apart and when we do discuss things, there's so much background we don't have to explain because we know.