A week in, and the fasting is getting a little rough. I was trying to minimize some snacks, but that kind of went out the door this week. When I got frustrated by it, you know what bothered me most? The fact that I've gained a several pounds in the last 6-8 months, and that I'm not going to get them off if I keep eating like I have the last couple of days. Also, there is the screen time thing. I'm decreasing some of my internet and TV time, because they have been taking over and I have been ignoring other things that I should get done. So you know what the last couple of days have looked like? I've been reading almost nonstop and ignoring other things that I should get done.
Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.
It started to occur to me that I should therefore not worry too much about fasting, since I'm so bad at it anyway, and my intentions are all off. Just let it go, you know. Maybe just add some more prayer or something holy like that.
The devil would just looove that, I'm sure. For the love of all that is good and holy, since when is being bad at something a good reason not to do it? If I'm in school and I'm bad at math, I should work harder, not give it up altogether! If I'm too weak to work out like I would like to, maybe I should start working out and build up some strength. If I can't hike a mountain that I want to hike, I don't sit on a couch, I get up and work on it until I can climb it. When we're not good at something, we shouldn't therefore do nothing, but rather try harder. As I tell my patients all the time, if an exercise were easy, you wouldn't need to do it. If I had all the self control in the world, how would fasting be needed?
So instead of quitting, here's my plan. I'm not going to worry about the rest of these 40 days. Nor am I going to worry about the last couple of days of failure that I can't change. I'm going to work on today. And then tomorrow, I'll work on tomorrow. I'll still try to minimize snacks, but not to the point of being too hungry, because I've been too active for that and hopefully it will also help me be less concerned about what the scale says. And I'll try to be more intentional about spending some time doing the things that need to be done. While I am, I'll try to use that time to pray for the intentions of anyone reading this particular post.
I can't be the only one that messes this up. What do you find that helps you?