I apologize if you are getting tired of my current obsession with waiting well.
In the last year and a half, I have had two answers to a prayer that I regularly throw out there in slightly varying forms. I wrote about the first here. The second (both the prayer and the answer) is very similar. This time, I was so frustrated with being stuck, so tired of the never ending wait in limbo, that I was ready to pray a prayer that I never want to pray, even if it meant that I would get the answer that I desperately didn't want to hear. It's a prayer that I knew would be answered, but I didn't know if it was the answer I would want to hear. I did get an answer that I didn't particularly want, but not the expected unwanted answer.
Beloved, if it is Your will for me to be married, please send him now. If You want me to be single, help me to find contentment and purpose in this single life. Your will be done.
The trick to a prayer like that is saying "Your will be done" and meaning it on some level. Then I settled back and waited for his answer, figuring peace and purpose were on their way, because the whole husband thing seems to be completely unattainable. And surely God had to grant one or the other since I asked Him for whatever His will was.
It took a couple of days for it to dawn on me. I asked for God's will, but I didn't cover all the bases. And even though I said that I wanted God's will to be done, there was still something that I hadn't included in my prayer. My prayer came out of the fatigue and frustration of waiting over a decade. I was ready for that wait to be done, so ready that I was even willing to stay single. But if I was truly asking for God's will to be done, whatever that may be, I had to include my willingness to wait for a bit longer (or a lot longer) or whatever He wanted. My prayer was intended to ask God to bring me to the end of the wait. Instead, He proved that He really is unchangeable and left me smack in the middle of the wait.
Snark aside, I figure if He's going to allow me more waiting and not move on to the next thing, then I'd better try to wait to the best of my ability. And given that my ability is sorely lacking, and He seems to be dumping lessons on me from all over the place, I'm going to keep spitting them out here as they come. Seeing as how I forget these things as quickly as I see them, I'd better have a reference point to come back to. Sorry about all the permutations* on the same theme, but here is my spot to write what I'm thinking about, and this is what I'm thinking about!
*How's that for a 25 cent word? I guess Dickens has gotten to me; of all those books I downloaded, I did get The Old Curiosity Shop actually read, and now I'm finding strange words and turns of expression (see what I mean?) coming to mind all the time.