My kitchen window has about twenty moths that have managed to figure out how to get into the screen, but are apparently not so adept about getting out. I'd take a picture, but it really grosses me out. They're either going to have to get smarter or die there. I'm thinking they're not going to make it. They really don't seem that bright.
I feel bad for them, though. They're stuck in the middle. They can't get into the house or back in the yard. I really hate stuck. I hate when I'm stuck and I hate when my friends are stuck.
I feel like those moths. Like I'm beating my limited brains out in the narrow confines of where I'm stuck and it's all futile anyway.
You know what's getting me right now? It's today. I often feel like I can handle today, but I'm not sure that I can handle the next day or the day after that. I don't even care about the future, it's today that I can't handle. It's another night of frozen dinner by myself. It's yet another awkward dating situation. It's the silence. It's no one to talk to at the end of the day. It's first communion week when many parents my age are celebrating the first communion of their children. It's spending a couple of weeks dreading Mother's Day. It's having completely amazing fun things going on, and not being able to share them with that special someone. It's a family celebration for all kinds of anniversaries and no anniversary of my own. It's feeling a call and having no way to answer.
It's not that I don't have hope for what the future will be. It's that sometimes I'm not sure if I'll make it until the future gets here.
Okay, really I'm not all that depressed in general right now, I'm just having a moment. I think it will pass fairly quickly. It's too nice outside and there's too much hiking and climbing to do for it to last terribly long. I'm going to go to bed now. I have a date with sunrise tomorrow, and it's a whole new day.