I have to really be careful how often I get on facebook, because facebook is a great place to get a comparison blow to the gut (especially depending on how my emotional outlook is at that moment).
"Look, here I am single, and there's my old roomie in her birthday pic (turning the same age as me), surrounded by her five beautiful smiling children."
I should know better than to get on there.
Or I go to the pool to try to take care of some of my crazy hiking tan lines. And become immediately insecure as I am surrounded by bikini babes with way fewer tan lines, not to mention fewer bulges.
Or this blogger writes so much better or has so many more followers or whatever.
Or I look at how beautifully some people decorate their houses and think about how my apartment is barely thrown together.
It goes on and on, this tiresome list.
Maybe I should remember the wise words that this blogger posted.
Why should I let comparison steal my joy? So maybe I live in an apartment that's not all that grand. I have a roof over my head, and the lack of decoration is something that I could easily do something about if I put my mind to it. If I'd rather spend my time doing other things, then I guess I'd better not worry too much about it.
My blog is a place for me to write what I want. I don't always worry about my grammar. I'm not trying to launch a writing career. I'm just hanging out, and I enjoy anyone that wants to hang out with me. That's really all that matters. Why should I worry about how much better someone else writes? Thank goodness they're writing and I get to read it.
And the bikini babes! I do compare myself to them, but why? I don't even want to be like them. There is such a thing as too skinny, and I'm okay with the fact that I don't have time for the perfect tan. Why should I worry about something that wouldn't even matter to me if I wasn't looking at them? (Hello, we will never be satisfied on this count. I actually am in good shape, but it's amazing how the insecurity can remain sometimes.)
As for the former roomie and her beautiful family? That's a tough one. That's much tougher than all the other ones put together, but the fact of the matter is that it's her family. I don't want her family and whatever part of me that I will have to bring to a family will be shaped in part by this time in my life, and that's not all bad either. I also need to remember that she could just as easily look at my pictures and wish for a free weekend to wander around in the mountains and take pictures. We can always think someone else has it better than we do.
In the end, I don't want to live life trying to get that one thing that will finally make me happy. No matter what that "one thing" (marriage, children, a house, the perfect job, the perfect body, whatever) is, it can change. When you get something you want, there is always something you still don't have. Joy is not in all of those things. I think joy can only be found in the here and now. I'm not saying I can always find it, or that I always even want to find it, but I'm at least trying to recognize that it's not in a far off place at the end of a rainbow of happiness. It's in the here and now.
|A little thing that brings me joy.|