Thursday, October 13, 2011

Dear Neighbors,

We haven't met, and I admit I'm avoiding you.  The zombie bumper stickers and grenade decals on your car are just not my thing.  Which is not to say that you're not nice people, I just don't know what to say to you.  Not to mention that you're still young enough to be into the the really tight pants thing (at least you're at the age where that would be okay- if it were ever okay to wear painted on jeans.)  Looking at you is a reminder that when I was your age, I had no idea that I would still be in an apartment at my age.

And your smoke!  I grant you that you smoke WAY less than did my previous neighbor. I only smell it some nights and not at all on others.  However, I know the cigarette smoke is going to be followed by incense.  It smells better than cigarettes, but still kind of irritating. (Also, concerning.  Are you sure you're only smoking cigarettes?)  I don't mean that it's just annoying, I mean that it still gives me a headache. Also, your wood smoke from the fireplace doesn't leave me feeling too hot.

Also, not a fan of your dog when it starts barking incessantly.

Or your occasional yelling matches.

And what is with the slamming doors?

See, none of those make you a bad person (though perhaps immature), just kind of an annoying neighbor for a crank like me.

However, tonight I didn't mind your hideously disgusting smoke quite so much, because I know that in about 3 weeks, I'll be moving.  I'm sure that there will be little things there as well, because it's a small place and an older place, but I know that no one's nasty smoke will be seeping in, because it's a stand alone little cottage rather than an apartment.  No, you may not visit.  There will be no cigarette smoke or people smelling of cigarette smoke in my new little place.

If it wasn't for your habit, I would be staying here where I can hear every time someone runs their water, opens their sliding door or walks overhead.  I would be staying here with my dark, depressing kitchen cabinets and weird lighter wood colored counter tops.  I would be staying where the water is usually lukewarm, and begins to cool down further after 5 minutes (though it does get me out of the shower a lot faster in the mornings).  I would have to put up with all those things, but I can't live with the air pollution, so now I don't have to deal with any of those things either.

So, on the one hand, thank you.  On the other hand, if cigarette smoke can make someone in a whole different apartment feel sick, don't you think you should stop, too?

So long. Farewell.  Best of luck to you.  Won't miss you in the slightest!

(My apologies if I am offending any smokers here.  None of my parents or grandparents ever smoked, and my family's all very sensitive to smoking.  It has actually sent siblings of mine to the emergency department when they are around it too much.)


  1. Oh my goodness.. I would have gotten out of that apartment LONG ago! I got annoyed just reading what they do! I'm so ready to get out of my in-law's house to an apartment, but reading your post makes me think twice. Of course, I am annoyed here, too, because of my critical in-laws and a kid who plays his drum set in his garage a couple houses over at 11:00 at night! Plus the sirens, and screaming kids and traffic... ugh, I think I just ought to move to the country! I'm so happy you got out of your place!

    Oh yeah, and smoking sucks.

  2. Oh the joys of apartment living. Yay for a move though. A little cottage sounds just lovely. I hope it is indeed better than the current place you are at. (Perfect Power in Weakness)

  3. So excited for your new of moving! Your cottage sounds charming :) Also, I loathe cigarette smells too!!!

  4. Good luck at your new apartment! I hope it will be a LOT better! :)

  5. Congrats on the move! We just moved out of an apartment and into a house and it is fantastic! A cottage sounds so cool! Also, smoking and skinny jeans? Wow.

  6. So glad you found a new place! I'm super sensitive to smoke too--of every kind. I have to even be really careful about going to Mass when there is incense!

  7. Yay for a new place!!

    I loved our old apartment...and it's gorgeous balcony with a perfect view of a beautiful park... but I could never enjoy it for long before our downstairs neighbor went out on HIS balcony for a loooong stinky smoke and I would have to flee!

    I seriously think that smoking is one of the most inconsiderate things!