Friday, June 25, 2010

It's Not Fair

Yesterday I had a moment where I became a person that I didn't like: the bitter person. I hate that person, and I hate that I let myself wander down that road, even for a little while.

Sometimes I just hate being alone, and I get so tired of it. I hate that "everyone"* else has someone to go home to, and I have an empty apartment. I think that overall moving has gone exceptionally well, but moving also really highlights this whole aspect of my life.

And so I had my moment yesterday of being in a funk. Of looking around and crying out "It's not fair!" with all the passion of a 3-year-old that was denied a piece of candy. Also like a 3-year-old, I was tired and so I was less rational and able to deal with it.

Besides going to bed to get some much needed sleep, the only thing that I could think about that helped was to think of a verse a good friend brought up in speaking of her struggles:

"I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten." Joel 2:25

*In calmer, more sane moments, I realize that there are a lot of lonely people out there. I also realize that just because someone else has everything I want (husband, children, all that) doesn't mean that their lives are wonderful and perfect all the time. We all have struggles. I know there are people that envy my freedom as a single person, too.

6 comments:

  1. Sending you hugs! The lonely times are the hardest.

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  2. Sleep is a beautiful thing.

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  3. Hugs and prayers are sent your way!

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  4. That scripture passage is beautiful! I wish I had wisdom to share, but you seem to eloquently write exactly what I feel. :-)

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  5. Sometimes, it is hard to see the brighter side of things. Prayers that you are feeling loved today.

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  6. moving and being lonely is extremely hard. I know. It took me a long while to adjust after my last move. I was very lonely, and that was with a spouse. Even having a significant other didn't make that feeling of being alone and in limbo and without roots go away.

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