Yesterday I had a moment where I became a person that I didn't like: the bitter person. I hate that person, and I hate that I let myself wander down that road, even for a little while.
Sometimes I just hate being alone, and I get so tired of it. I hate that "everyone"* else has someone to go home to, and I have an empty apartment. I think that overall moving has gone exceptionally well, but moving also really highlights this whole aspect of my life.
And so I had my moment yesterday of being in a funk. Of looking around and crying out "It's not fair!" with all the passion of a 3-year-old that was denied a piece of candy. Also like a 3-year-old, I was tired and so I was less rational and able to deal with it.
Besides going to bed to get some much needed sleep, the only thing that I could think about that helped was to think of a verse a good friend brought up in speaking of her struggles:
"I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten." Joel 2:25
*In calmer, more sane moments, I realize that there are a lot of lonely people out there. I also realize that just because someone else has everything I want (husband, children, all that) doesn't mean that their lives are wonderful and perfect all the time. We all have struggles. I know there are people that envy my freedom as a single person, too.