TOB brings two things clearly to the forefront. One is that we are called to live out a love that sacrifices itself for another. Married people to their spouses. Nuns to Christ. Priests to the Church.
The second is that this self-sacrificing love brings new life into the world. Marriage leads to children. Religious vocations lead to new life in Christ.
Where does that leave me? I have been to Christopher West talks, and when the topic of singleness comes up, he doesn't pull any punches. He acknowledges that not all single people will get married, and this may not be due to a choice of theirs. He doesn't have much to offer, but reminds us singles that our ultimate purpose is not realized in marriage on earth, but in heaven.
But what of my purpose here on earth? How could I be created to give myself in self-sacrificing life-giving love, and have no outlet for that? It's devastating. Not only have I not been chosen by any man, but neither has God chosen me for religious life. He has forgotten me, because how else could it be He created me for a purpose that will not be fulfilled?
You don't need to tell me that I still have a purpose (unless you have some specific suggestions as to what that purpose is- I'd love to hear it!) Nor do you need to tell me that God could never forget me. Definitely don't tell me that eventually I will be married. Because even though I agree that you are probably right, you don't know that for sure. My logic knows all this, but my feelings do not care about my logic.
What I have learned is this. Self-sacrifice is not always the choice that you think it is. If you choose to get married to a person, then you choose to give yourself to them in a self-sacrificial way. If you choose a consecrated religious life, you choose to give your life to Christ or His Church. If you are single by circumstance, your choice is different. You may not have a choice about who you are specifically giving your life to, but you have a choice about whether you are going to offer your life in the moments that you have right now. It may be a very general offering, or God may call you to a very particular ministry because you have the time and energy to focus on it right now; time and energy that you will later need to focus on your family.
The reality is, if you are single like me, you are not forgotten by God. You are chosen for a unique purpose at this moment.