Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Insecurity. Ain't It Grand?

Some days I feel like I know what I'm doing.  I don't know everything, but I know as a general rule what I'm doing, where I'm going, and how I'm going to get there.

Then there are the days like the last couple of days.  I'm not sure I'm making the right decision on one thing, and all my other decisions suddenly feel suspect as well.  Sometimes I grind to a paralyzed halt, because I'm frozen in second-guessing mode, and can't seem to move forward.  Nothing I seem to do is the right thing.   Good news is, there's Mass this evening.  That's a guaranteed right choice.

2 comments:

  1. It certainly is :)

    When I get days like the one you describe, well ... I always suspect there's the evil one trying to confuse me so I just abandon myself to God's will.

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  2. I get that too, CM. I get it the most when it comes to my spiritual choices and beliefs, actually. I don't have doubts about the foundations of my faith but I start wondering if I'm just a clanging gong etc. Then I tend to wonder if I'm just fooling myself and making all the right spiritual noises but when my time before the Lord comes He'll say He never knew me. I start feeling as though I'm a big hypocrit. It becomes a really vicious circle and not only makes me fearful but doubt my salvation. Very frustrating.

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