Woohoo, friends! Welcome to the weird space inside my head. It is stuff that I probably shouldn't allow out, but I've been reading blogs pretty hardcore for the last couple of months, and I have nothing on you fruitcakes. Here is a little sampling of what is going on in my head as I get ready for work, drive around all day to the different places that I work, and when I'm hanging out at home alone.
In the last several months, I have really been having a hard time getting motivated for work. Part of the time, it has been because of some burn out. Not this week, though. This week has been pretty laid back, but I still have to drag myself out of bed and out the door. I don't know why. It's not like I have anything here that I'm dying to do. It's true that I have a lot to do, but I don't want to do it and I ignore it most of the time when I am home.
So what is my problem? I think that I'm suffering a from Treadmill Syndrome. This is the dreaded disease that strikes when everything is dull and boring and your life is blah variations on the same theme for the forseeable future: Get up. Get ready for work. Go to work. Come home from work. Get dinner. Ignore Do the chores that need to be done. Go to bed. Get up. Get ready for work... You get the picture. I would like to blame this lovely little lassitude (how do you like that alliteration action?) on singleness, as singleness is a great thing to blame all my multitude of issues on, but I have to admit treadmill syndrome strikes us all. As my desire is to be married and have children, I have to remember that mothers of small children are especially susceptible to Treadmill Syndrome, given diaper changes, messes, breaking up fights, and laundry day after day.
I had a conversation with God about it that went something like this:
"So. Really? This is it? Don't you want me to go out and change the world now? Isn't there some big task I could do? What is the purpose of my life right now? It seems rather meaningless as it is. Insignificant. Ridiculous. I'm not doing anything good or worthwhile right now. I just show up to work and go home and show up to work again. Why?"
That's when a scene from Karate Kid came to mind. You know the one I mean. If not, look at the title of this post. If you still don't know, you are a loser and you need to go back and watch the movie. Here is a kid that wants to learn karate so he can defend himself. All this crazy old guy will tell him to do is to wax the cars. Over and over. Lots and lots of cars. Pointless, meaningless repetition. What does it have to do with anything? Mr. Miyagi sure didn't explain any of it. Just told the kid what to do and got out of the way. Those that have watched the movie know how it all comes together. Those who haven't... well, I've got nothing for you. Go see the movie.
I still don't have any answers, but I do believe that God is wiser than me. Wiser even than Mr. Miyagi. While I don't think that anything that I am doing will magically teach me karate, I'm thinking that maybe there's a purpose to these day to day activities that I don't see right now. And so I will get up and go to work tomorrow.
Wax on. Wax off.
Note: I really don't think you are a loser if you haven't watched the Karate Kid, but I'm still not going to tell you what happened, because it is a vital part of your education that needs to be completed and you have to watch it. Well, maybe I think you are a little bit of a loser, but that's okay, because I love losers and you're in good company. I probably shouldn't admit this in public, but I haven't seen the Goonies.