Sunday, May 31, 2009

I Can't Seem to Stop

I shouldn't post today.  If I don't post, I will average one post a day for the last month.  It's a lot, but not as excessive as it could be.  It could be more.  I have recently been struck by an acute case of blogorrhea.  I have so much to say right now.  I have four or five drafts from the last week or so that I could publish, but I had to draw the line somewhere.  I also have another 4 or 5 ideas that I can't wait to write about.  I don't know that it's all that interesting to anyone else, but it's kind of like cheap therapy.   

I don't know why it is. I find some things very easy to talk about, and I probably bore my friends and family to tears with those things, and still have more to say here.  Then there are the other things.  You know.  Things like feelings and brokenness and not being in control. Sometimes I have something inside that I would really like to talk about, but I can't seem to spit it out. I have friends that are ready and willing to be there for me the second I ask, but somehow I find it easier to bottle it up instead.  If I am going to talk instead of bottling it up, the conditions have to be just right.  First, it has to simmer a little.  I can't simply rush into it.  I can't force an opening for it, either, there has to be at least some flow in the conversation that opens it up to that.  My brain will tell my mouth to talk, but my mouth won't go until the conditions are met.  

And then there's blogging.  I can't seem to shut up.  What is my problem?  

Wait. Don't answer that.

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