It was interesting some of the things that were said. One of the mothers was laughing about how "everyone here has big pregnant bellies. Except CM." Such a tiny little offhand comment, but a little part of me felt like it shriveled up and died. Of course, she had no idea that it affected me at all. Why should she? I don't want my friends to bottle up their joy and save for when I'm not around. Besides, I'm not sure what comments could be made that don't somehow turn my mind toward the fact that I'm alone. That's just the direction that my mind is turned right now.
At a work meeting, everyone shared news about who was buying houses and how pregnant wives were doing and how wedding plans were going. We do this every 2 months, and I never have anything to say. When friends ask me what's new, I don't know what to tell them. (Clearly, I need to get out more, but with who? All my friends are busy. Make new ones you say? They're also busy with spouses and children. Unless I want to start hanging out with people that are quite a bit younger than me.)
I hate days like this, and I hate feeling like this. I hate that there's nothing that I can do but try to get through this.